50 Shades of Grey – A Review

Sam Taylor Johnson directs Jamie Dornan and Dakota Johnson in the on screen adaptation of E.L.James’ BDSM fantasy novel Fifty Shades of Grey. Dornan plays Christian Grey a 27 year old Billionaire and Dakota Johnson plays Anastasia Steele a fresh college graduate and a hardware store employee.

 

E.L.James wrote this novel as a Fan Fiction inspired by Twilight and the story suffers the same banality that was the cornerstone of Stephenie Meyer’s work. The entire proceeding seems derivative and uninspired and reads more like a smattering of different stories one would have heard over the years and they are pieced together with no objective other than to titillate a few desperate housewives. There is no sense of romance, no sense of danger or even intrigue as the characters are written as flatly as possible. There are hints of dark humour as Anastasia “negotiates” the contract with Christian – the premise as absurd as it is would have been made immensely bearable and almost believable had Ana continued to mock and make fun of the specifics of the contract but instead the flickering flame of hope is soon doused by a multitude of lip-biting and toe-curling reactions from Ana.

I fail to understand what is the point of this – not just the movie but also the book. The Christian grey as presented here has no redeeming quality other than that he is rich and moderately good looking, in fiction land they are dim a dozen and better written. Also women – who comprise the large portion of James’ fandom- how can they associate with Anastasia Steele – I mean I am all for toe-curling action between the sheets but wouldn’t they find it objectionable to be portrayed as Steele is portrayed here? I can understand men wanting women to be as naïve and easy but I would find that women would find that demeaning and insulting.

I was told that the screenwriting is an improvement on the actual novel and that the many references to “her inner goddess doing the tango” which are missing from the screenplay are a welcome change I cannot even begin to imagine what the source would have been. Jamie Dornan who hit the headlines with his Calvin Klein Advert during the super bowl is honestly less impressive here as the hunky Christian Grey than his 30 sec Superbowl advert. His dialogue delivery is dry and he fails to infuse any element of mystery. Dakota Johnson as Anastasia shows promise but squanders it all with her lip-biting and heavy breathing and writhing. What Marcia Gay Harden is doing in this stinking pile of dung is beyond my understanding – an actress of her standing should have stayed as far away from this as possible. The insufferable Rita Ora makes her blink-and-miss debut as Grey’s France-returned sister who is about as believable as Ora’s current self-proclaimed diva status.

The one thing I was looking forward to was the music and Beyoncé’s vocals do make the visual imagery slightly more bearable. Outside of that there is really nothing to be gained from this cinematic outing. There is no thrill, no excitement, no romance and no intrigue. It is one mechanical over-simulated sex-scene after the other where Dornan is completely out of it and Johnson too into it. The chemistry is entirely lacking and there is no character development and the story goes nowhere. Even with the pile of garbage that was James’ original novel there was scope that this movie would be a parody of itself and by virtue of that be at least half-interesting, but that is not the case. And to the scores of women who packed the theatres over the valentine day weekend – please wake up – you deserve better – I am not even insinuating a Jane Austen type feminist caper but at least something that doesn’t insult your intelligence.

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One thought on “50 Shades of Grey – A Review

  1. Pingback: 2015 A Year in Review | lifein70mm

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